Love Heals Read online

  Don't think about that, I coached myself sternly. Sure, because if I didn't think about it, it would go away as though it never happened, because that was how life worked.

  When I slipped the lingerie over my head, I sighed with pleasure as the cool silk slid down my body. It was deliciously light and cool. I turned to look at it in the mirror and had to smile. The fabric covering my breasts was sheer, giving a perfect view of my hardened nipples. It looked like Brandon had some fun in store for us tonight. I tried to push all other thoughts aside and just be happy about it, but if I thought about Brandon I was overwhelmed with traitorous guilt.

  Maybe I could get away with only telling a little fib, not an outright lie. It would still get me spanked, but it wouldn't be as bad as a total lie. Hmm.

  What could I say? If I told him Mark had come on to me—which was in itself half true—then he'd do something we'd both regret. While the idea of him marching up to Dusty Records and punching the new CEO in the face made for a delicious picture, inevitably Mark would blurt out his version of the truth as blood spluttered from his nose. Maybe in that light it would be almost worth it. Besides, maybe Brandon would think he was lying. Maybe I could…but no, I knew he'd take one look at my guilt-ridden face and know it was true. I'd been such a better liar before we'd started dating, dammit!

  Either way, I had to come up with something quick. He'd be home soon and he'd wonder why I wasn't still at work. Maybe the lingerie would distract him, but it would only be for a time and then he'd start asking questions. Innocent questions that he wouldn't expect his girlfriend to dodge.

  By the time three-thirty rolled around, I'd drawn up a dozen game plans in my mind and discarded each one. I opted instead for an old standby—operation distraction. In addition to wearing the lingerie he'd picked out, I'd added a sheer thong that showed my ample backside through the gown. I'd added a touch of makeup and a spritz of perfume and was still brushing my hair when I heard the door open. I set the brush down and after one last look in the mirror, I strolled out trying to rein in my racing pulse.

  I swallowed hard when I saw Brandon. He was standing in the doorway, looking at the table where he'd left the box. God, he looked sexier than a GQ ad. He was tan and muscular and delicious. When he caught sight of me, my heart gave a little flip that had nothing at all to do with nerves.

  "I thought you weren't coming," he said, his face lighting up with a grin.

  "I couldn't stay away," I replied, and this much at least was true. Commitment issues be damned, this man was under my skin and I'd be a fool to deny it.

  "Come over here, let me have a look at you."

  I walked toward him slowly, my eyes never once leaving his face. He looked at me like no man ever had before—not with lust, but with love. Desire was written plainly on his face, in his taut muscles, but it never overshadowed the love I knew he felt for me.

  His blue eyes lit up much like his face had and a slow, sexy smile curved his lips as I made my way to him. He took my hands in his and looked me up and down, his smile growing as he did.

  I tried to draw closer, but he kept me at arms-length, the bulge in his pants making it rather obvious what he thought. "Thank you for the present," I murmured coyly.

  "It looks…unbelievable on you. Even better than I imagined."

  "Oh, so that's what you do at work all day," I teased.

  "Yep, I just popped in a movie for the kids and daydreamed about you all day. This—" He gestured to his erection, "isn't new. I've been sporting it all day."

  "You better have been thinking about me, buster!" I moved closer and this time he let me. I raised my hand to playfully swat at his chest, but he caught my wrist and held it firmly.

  "Tsk, tsk," he clucked his tongue. "You know better than that, little girl. Let's not start the evening out on the wrong foot now."

  "Looks like it'll be such a good one," I commented, noting the bottle of wine he'd brought in with him and set down. It was my favorite—an expensive blush that tasted like ripe, sweet fruit on a hot summer's day.

  "That was kind of the plan. Although," he frowned as he considered me, "I thought it would be tomorrow."

  I didn't like how he was looking at me—he suspected something, didn't he? Damn it, could he smell the guilt on my skin or something? "Like I said, I missed you."

  That washed the quizzical look right off his face and I could feel myself sagging with relief. "I missed you, too."

  "So I see," I murmured, boldly grabbing his hard-on and cupping my hand around it. That was it—get him so focused on sex, he'd forget to ask about my day. Sure, that plan would only last for the next hour or so—longer, if we went again, which we usually did—but that was how I was going to have to play things for the time being: an hour at a time.

  "And here I thought we'd take our time," he whispered in my ear, his hot breath making shivers shoot down my arms.

  "Maybe next go around."

  "Fine by me."

  With that, I tilted my head up, eager for the warmth of his mouth. He didn't leave me to wait for long. When his tongue delved into my mouth, his hands trapped my wrists and he gently pushed me back against the door. I moaned, arching my back as he grabbed my left ass check and massaged it, intensifying the kiss.

  "You're beautiful," he gasped when he came up for air.

  "Kiss me," I moaned, losing myself in the moment when he obliged. The feel of his lips on mine was nothing short of heaven—I could feel myself heading for the clouds already. Of course, I was hoping he'd do more than kiss me and not just because I wasn't ready to talk.

  He didn't let me down; his hands were quick to find my stiffened nipples poking the sheer fabric. Somehow, the feel of his fingers caressing through the fabric was even more sensual and arousing. I could feel the heat pulsing between my thighs and the thought of his fingers landing there, spreading my legs and seeking the heat of my pussy was enough to make my thong soaking wet.

  "Brandon," I gasped as he bit down on my neck.

  "Shh, baby. Let me take care of you."

  How could anyone say no to an offer like that? When he nibbled on my bared collar bone next, I moaned and raked my fingers through his dark brown hair just to have something to hold onto. Brandon fell to his knees and gripped me tightly around the waist once more, pulling me to him. When his mouth sought out my hard, erect nipple, I made noises that didn't sound human, but were complete pleasure. I didn't know what it was about having him caress me through my clothing, but it was driving me wild.

  "Brandon. Please, now."

  He shook his head without taking his mouth off my nipple. While he suckled it, I groaned in frustration and pleasure both.

  Finally, I gave in to the wonderful sensations and resolved to turn my brain off for a little while. I could think about all the horrible, terrible ways my life was going wrong later, but for right now it would be much more enjoyable to focus on what was going right. And the feel of his hands on my warm, tingling skin was very, very right.

  When he turned to my other breast, nipping it before he began to suckle, my moans turned to soft mewls of desire. I could feel the wetness gathering between my legs and for one brief instant I thought about shoving him backwards and taking what I wanted. It was something I would have ventured with any other man, but I knew better with Brandon. He was in charge and he worked hard to make sure I remembered it. Besides, such delicious torture only made the coming together more sweet.

  His fingers slid underneath my lingerie and I shivered with the feeling of his large, warm hands on my cool skin. He rubbed them up and down my body, electrifying every nerve as he went. By the time he helped me out of the gown I'd been nibbled, kissed and suckled everywhere a woman could want to be kissed—except for my pussy, where I wanted it most. But I imagined he was saving that for later and immensely enjoying my pleas for him to fuck me.

  "You've been such a good girl," he praised in his low, husky voice. "I think you deserve a reward for your patience."

 
; Finally!

  "How about a glass of wine?"

  "Brandon!" I screeched at the top of my voice.

  "Watch that tone," he warned, reaching around to give me a firm swat. Still, his eyes were laughing at me.

  Normally, it would have made me smile, but my body was so tense with frustration—sexual and otherwise—that knowing that he found it amusing ticked me off. "Fine," I said crisply, pulling out of his embrace and walking around him. I hadn't taken more than five steps when I felt his hand on my shoulder.

  "Come on, no pouting. It doesn't look good on you."

  "Brandon—"

  "Okay, you're right—everything looks good on you." He turned me to face him and gently cupped my chin. "Is that a smile I see? Quick, hide it, I'll pretend I didn't see it."

  "What?"

  "I figured you were trying to talk your way into a punishment session tonight."

  Despite myself, I smiled. He really was the most understanding, patient man in the world. "No, Sir."

  "Oh, well, maybe next time."

  "Maybe next time," I parroted, starting to feel slightly better. Which went up from slightly the moment he pulled me to him, scooped me up and walked me into the living room.

  With tenderness in his touch and in his eyes, he laid me down flat over the suede ottoman. He bent over me and began kissing me, exploring my mouth then trailing kisses down my neck. When he reached my breasts he began to tease them until both of my nipples were hardened points of arousal.

  He kissed and fondled his way down my body. When I felt his hot breath on my thighs, I lifted my hips so that he could pull down my thong. "Spread them," he whispered.

  The command made me shiver and goosebumps prickled my skin. Those had to be the two sexiest words in the English language. I complied with lightning speed—if Brandon noticed that it was the quickest I'd ever obeyed an order, he didn't mention it.

  First, there was the feel of hot breath as he blew on my pussy lips, making me feel my arousal all the more. Then his tongue, as it lapped up the wetness and plunged into the heat of my folds. My breath hitched and I arched my back, grabbing his arms and squeezing in my pleasure. He teased my clit and used his tongue in all the right ways that soon had me moaning his name. My orgasm came too quickly for me to hold back—there was a tensing, then the release that made my body go limp. I felt hurtled through the universe—I was pretty sure I could see stars from here.

  "Good girl," he said again, stroking my hair. He leaned down over me and smiled. "Kiss me—taste yourself."

  Before Brandon, such a command would have made me scoff or back off in disgust. But with him, I didn't hesitate. I propped myself up on my elbows and met him halfway, tasting his lips. "Delicious," I murmured, thrilled with the way he threw his head back and laughed.

  "You're really one a kind, Karen Donahue."

  Uh-oh. Why was the elation fading, being replaced by…was that guilt?

  "I think you might be the best thing that ever happened to me."

  Yeah, it was definitely guilt.

  "In fact, I know it."

  Oh, crap. Oh, crap, oh, crap, why couldn't he have just fucked me?

  "Karen, I'm not usually an insecure guy, but…you're not saying anything."

  Because your eyes are making me weak! I thought, my pulse picking up speed for entirely the wrong reasons. Who could have known that blue eyes would turn out to be my kryptonite? "It's…it's not you, just…"

  "Great," he muttered under his breath, sitting back.

  "No, Brandon, really it's not you. Just…"

  "What is it, then?"

  I sat up straight and reached for his hand. "I love you, Brandon. I really do. You're the best thing about my life."

  He looked up, his expression skeptical. "No offense, but your life kind of sucks right now."

  You have no idea, I thought, hiding a grimace. "Fair enough. But two months ago, six weeks ago, two weeks ago? You were the best thing in my life then and you still are."

  "You mean it?"

  "Of course I mean it. I thought you knew."

  "It's still nice to hear some times."

  "Well." I scooted down the ottoman and put myself on his lap, hugging his neck. "I'll tell you anytime you want. Even better—I could show you."

  "Show me how?"

  He was smiling again and I relaxed. "Oh, I have so many ways."

  "Try one or two of them out."

  "With pleasure." I cupped the crotch of his pants for a moment before my fingers found his fly. The sound of it sliding down made me wet all over again. His cock burst free, hard as a rock, and I leaned forward to lick the head before slowly working my way down.

  "Karen," he said, somewhere between a groan and a gasp. "Are you all right?"

  I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, I decided as I slid my mouth up and down his shaft.

  "If it wasn't what I said, if you feel the same way…then what was it?"

  Damn, he had to be the only man on the face of the Earth who wanted to talk while getting head!

  "Karen?"

  "What?" I snapped as I pulled away.

  He frowned, his eyebrows drawing together as he did. "I asked if you're okay. Which, obviously you're not."

  "I'm fine. Or, at least I would be, if we could get this show underway."

  "You're not acting fine. You're snapping and dodging questions and acting strange. I hate to tell you this, but I've learned quite a bit about you in the last two months. One of those things is how to tell when something's bothering you."

  "Honey," I laced my voice with syrup, deciding to try a different tact. "I really appreciate your concern. Really, but I sort of need you in another capacity right now."

  The skepticism didn't budge even an inch and I knew he wasn't buying it.

  Time for the lie! My devil screamed at me. But which one? I'd never really decided. I listened for my angel, but that bitch wasn't saying anything. "I quit today." The words came out in a rush and I couldn't take them back, even if I wanted to. It looked like I'd decided.

  "You quit? Why?"

  I leapt up and began to pace the living room, wringing my hands. I could feel Brandon's eyes follow me everywhere I went. I hated to leave the comfort of his arms, but I didn't feel good about accepting it when I was lying to him. "I, um, ran into Mark today."

  "Okay. And?"

  "Uh, well…I just couldn't take it. You know, him…what he did." What I did, I added silently, hoping that he couldn't see the admission on my face.

  "I'm sure that had to be hard for you."

  When I turned to him, my lip was quivering slightly. "You're not disappointed in me, are you?"

  He stood and walked toward me in long, powerful strides, gathering me in his arms and crushing me against him as he stroked my hair. "Disappointed? Of course not, honey. I have to admit, I am a little surprised…it's not like you to give up, but I'm sure you felt you didn't have a choice."

  "I really didn't," I whispered, but of course, we were talking about two different things.

  "It's okay." He kissed my temple. "We'll figure something out."

  If I'd expected his words to bring me relief, I was sadly disappointed. But I was being absolved of the wrong thing—there was no telling how he'd react to the truth. And I'd meant what I said—he truly was the best thing in my life. There was no way I could give that up.

  "How about that wine now? It sounds like you could use a glass."

  "Sure," I said weakly, watching his retreating back as he went to chill the wine and get the glasses. I knew without taking a single drop that it would taste like ashes in my mouth, which would be no better than the lie had tasted.

  ***

  Brandon had insisted I spend the night and I'd reluctantly, exhaustedly agreed. We'd made love after I'd had two glasses of wine, but I hadn't been able to enjoy that, either. He'd asked question after question and I'd dodged them the best I could, but I couldn't get away without telling more lies and half-truths. Finally, he'd relent
ed, but I had a feeling it would probably start up again when he woke up, which was why I slid out of bed as quietly as I could manage and began to get dressed. I didn't have anything but the color block dress from the day before, but it would have to do until I could get to my apartment to change.

  Damn it, where were my shoes? I was sure I'd taken them off in the bathroom, but a quick search showed they weren't there. I was looking under the bed when I heard Brandon stir, mumbling sleepily. I stood up and watched him for a moment. I loved watching him sleep—it was the only time where I could admire his muscular, sexy body and handsome face as much as I wanted without fear of embarrassment, as creepy stalkerish as that sounded.

  A quick glance at my watch showed it was six-thirty. Better get moving, he'd be up soon. I had just reached the door when I heard him say my name. Damn it. I had been so close.

  "Go back to sleep, honey." I turned my head and gave him a quick smile.

  "Where are you off to so early?"

  "Job hunting." Which was not a lie—I just so happened to be after my old job. "I thought I'd put a few applications in."

  "Baby, you don't have to worry about that right now. Give yourself a few days to process. Come back to bed."

  "I don't need a few days to process," I snapped. Crap, why did I keep doing this? It wasn't his fault, but I kept taking it out on him. Maybe if I came clean and told him the truth, maybe then I'd feel better. Keeping secrets was putting me on edge. "Look, I'm sorry, just…things are kind of crazy right now and I want to get my life back to feeling as normal as possible."

  He sat straight up in bed, eyeing me thoughtfully while I admired his bare chest. "Do you need a spanking, Karen?"

  "W-what?"

  "You heard me. You've been acting like a girl in need of a spanking and I don't want to let you down."

  I was shaking my head before he'd even finished his sentence. "Brandon—"

  "Look, I'm trying to be considerate of what you must be going through, but I'm starting to lose my patience."